Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
bring money and cleavage
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
