i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
