My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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