You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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