we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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