i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
