Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize