What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize