I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize