4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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