Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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