Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
