i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize