I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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