I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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