Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I wear drunk well.
His nipple licking is glorious
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