The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Dicks are not precious.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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