My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
