check it out our google latitudes are spooning
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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