i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
