If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
