Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize