After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
