who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
