So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
