My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
