So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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