I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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