the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
