How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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