WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
