I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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