she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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