It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We left an ass print on the piano.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
