I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
