just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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