Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
