I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
