Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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