he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
