not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
