Well apparently he's into motor boating.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
