Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
