Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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