see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
