I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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