Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
