I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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