scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
