Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
