This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
