So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This is classic penis vs brain.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
