how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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