yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
