Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
